As I return to Dallas from Atlanta, I have multiple thoughts vying for my mind's attention. This trip was quite a revelation to me about reliving the past. I have learned that often times, our memories about the past are inaccurate! This is a painful reality for those of us who frequently live in the past. I never thought that I was said individual, however, I must acknowledge that I possess a slight longing to relive certain past experiences. Of course, this is not all bad, but it rests atop a hill with a dangerously slippery slope; living life backwards! WOW, backwards! Even now, I'm unsure of my sincerest objectives or desires for returning to Homecoming: See old friends? Show how God had blessed me with a wonderful family? Reconnect with those who I'd become disconnected? Still unsure...All I know is I just had to attend! The overall experience of the trip was quite good. I spent quality time with my love and my son, spent time with a dear friend and his family, shared with students from our church, and even saw a few old friends. My wrestling comes when I pose the question, "Was it worth it?" I simply cannot answer that question! When I tally all of the credit card receipts, the time and effort, the shear stress of traveling with an infant, I JUST DON'T KNOW! I believe this is truly the source of my quandry. So, it boils down to motives and value. It's amazing that I've never really stopped to pose such perplexing questions. I simply lived with zeal. Perhaps turning 40 has opened a new level of investigation and purpose. As I write these thoughts, I kinda like where my inner thoughts are taking me. Yeah, this is good...I've known for quite some time that writing helps to process thoughts and feelings. This quick session on the plane has truly helped me. In the future, I will definitely check my motives before launching into a trip or pursuit. I had hoped to reconnect with tons of friends from my past, but I've learned that one must maintain some level of communication, or you won't know where to meet to reconnect. As I walked around and around campus, I was searching to make eye-contact with the "Old crew." Never quite made the contact...Then I realized that my "new crew" was with me the entire time; My wife, son, The Smiths, Tierannye and Dirrick! It's amazing how God will allow you to search for the gifts and blessings that He has already dropped into your lap! My trip to Atlanta was a refresher course on the current blessings of God! I've truly FOUND what I was looking for...Thanks God!
